


how can you win when there's no one on your side?

by ifonlyicouldwrite



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), again NOT a ship, but im just going with this, i considered writing alternate endings bc i couldnt choose a single option for how to finish, it just doesnt really have a set resolution, its not TOO painful though, no beta we die like wilbur, tommy gets exiled
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:34:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27882321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifonlyicouldwrite/pseuds/ifonlyicouldwrite
Summary: Tommy gave himself up for the people he trusted. Always sacrificing his wishes for someone else's. Constantly in an upwards battle to gain someone's favor.It's a shame that Tommy never won.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 233





	how can you win when there's no one on your side?

**Author's Note:**

> ok this is a bit OOC, but I wrote this to procrastinate for my responsibilities so here ya go!!
> 
> (I wrote this before the meeting stream, so don't come for me I know it's not accurate ahhhh)

Tommy was a loyal person. It was something no one could ever deny. Time and time again, he gave up what he wanted for his family, his friends. Time and time again, he gave himself away for his cause, his land. Time and time again, he was rewarded with a pat on the back and a forced smile or two. 

And maybe that wasn’t a lot. And maybe he’d already lost too much. But Tommy knew he’d never be fully alone. He gave himself so entirely to others—surely they’d stand by him! He had Philza, Tubbo, Will, Techno! Surely, they’d stand by him.

Right?

* * *

They had won. They had _won_ , and things were finally looking up, for once. Wilbur gave him the presidency—the man who trusted _nobody_ gave _him_ L’Manburg. Even though Tommy knew he shouldn’t be president, that show of trust had meant _everything_ to him. He just had to get back his disks, and _everything_ would be alright again.

Then the fireworks went off. Suddenly, things didn’t seem so easy.

_They had won, hadn’t they?_

* * *

Tommy stood on the rubble of his land, silently grieving. 

_Oh. So_ **_this_ ** _is what Wilbur wanted me to have._

They were meant to win, yet Tommy couldn’t help but think of everything he’d lost. 

One brother, laughing as his blood-soaked hands tore his home to shreds.

The other, smiling as the life faded from his eyes after leaving Tommy to pick up the pieces.

At least he had Tubbo. Maybe Philza, too ~~if he didn’t go running to see his~~ _ ~~favorite~~_.

No, Tommy was not alone. He had hope. He could get his disks back, and then he could be Tubbo’s vice president, and everything would be alright. As long as he had Tubbo, he would be alright. He still had Tubbo.

* * *

Tommy couldn’t breathe right. The walls of his holding cell seemed to be shrinking in on him, and the lava beneath his feet glowed dangerously in the darkness of the cramped space. 

Fundy flicked the first lever and Tommy felt as though he couldn’t breathe at all. 

Tubbo was looking at him, but his eyes were strange. There wasn’t a hint of the friendliness Tommy had grown so used to. He wondered when he lost that. He thought of a smiling green figure, and he knew.

The second lever was pulled. Tommy swore his heart stopped. Ranboo was in the cell across from his, looking just as uncomfortable as Tommy felt. He knew they couldn’t win. Tommy _never_ won. He was always the last choice, the least loved, the one who could be used and thrown away. Tommy _never_ won, and he knew this time wouldn’t be any different… 

But… the fearful glint in Ranboo’s eyes was too familiar for him to bear. He _couldn’t_ condemn him to the fate he had suffered. Tommy couldn’t win, but maybe Ranboo could.

So Tommy shouldered all the blame, feeling a piece of himself leave once more. Another promise of loyalty that would likely never be returned. 

Tommy looked over to Tubbo, whose eyes looked just a little stranger as he nodded to Fundy, a tacit message in his sad gaze. 

Tommy’s eyes widened as he watched Fundy pull the last lever, feeling the ground beneath him disappear. He saved himself in the nick of time, but he could still feel the burns of the lava on his skin. He could barely see past his pain, holding back tears as he looked up at the entry of the cell. Figures stood there, blurring together in his eyes… laughing at him. 

They were laughing at him—at his _pain_ . Tommy tried scrambling out of the hole, but there wasn’t a helping hand in sight. Glass dug into his ribcage and he nearly screamed in agony before hoisting himself onto safe ground. The laughter hadn’t stopped, despite the clear pain Tommy was in. Desperate, he surveyed the room, looking for the one person he knew he could trust. The one person who _wouldn’t_ laugh at his suffering. The one person he truly had le—

Tubbo was smiling, too.

Tommy felt the world stop in his eyes. He _knew_ it would happen. He _knew_ that, though he was loyal to his friends before anything else, Tubbo was loyal to L’Manberg. Tubbo was _president_. And now… that came before Tommy ever would.

So Tommy didn’t fight. He was so tired of fighting. But he couldn’t _stand_ the way Dream sent a knowing smile his way after _everything_ he’d just been through, so he started walking, deaf to Quackity’s pleas to not make things worse. He was a good guy, he had to make this right.

_Let me tell you a story, Tommy. The story of a man called Theseus._

“Probation isn’t enough.” Tommy froze, looking over to Tubbo with wide eyes.

_He saved his city. You know what they did to him, Tommy?_

“I want him exiled.”

_They exiled him._

“All of the times, Dream has blown us up, Dream has—”

_:)_

“ _Taunted us!_ ” Tommy was shaking, whether with fear or anger, he didn’t know. “Dream has been a huge _dick_ to L’Manberg—”

“Y’know what? Tubbo, Tubbo, no I—actually—you don’t wanna exile him, that’s fine. Give me the disk.”

_He died in disgrace, despised by his people. That’s what happens to heroes._

_Tubbo? He’s_ **_lying_ ** _to you, man. He_ — _he would drop us at the_ **_second_ ** _he realized we’re not in the lead, anymore._

_I trust you._

“What.” He couldn’t believe this, _he wouldn’t believe it_ . Tubbo wouldn’t. _He wouldn’t_.

“Tommy, I suggest you stay quiet.” _No no no no no_ —

“Tommy, there’s one big difference between you and Dream. Dream _can_ go around and kill people. Cuz guess what? Dream isn’t the vice president. And you are.” _No no NO NO NO_ —

“I NEVER FUCKIN ASKED TO BE!” Tommy was breaking. The last parts of himself were shattering before his eyes. The strange glint hadn’t left Tubbo’s eyes, but Tommy recognized it now. He knew what Dream wanted now. Dream, who pulled the strings. Dream, who always had a plan. Dream, who always fucking won.

“I _told_ you what I was after! You _knew_ I was after my discs before anything else!”

_I don’t want a government. You_ **_know_ ** _I’m an anarchist, Tommy._

_Techno’s the traitor!_

“Tommy, that doesn’t matter! Your actions have consequences! _Why is that so hard to understand?_ ” Tubbo looked murderous, but Tommy couldn’t sit by and wait for a death sentence. They were both blind to the smirk slowly growing on Dream’s face.

“Because they’re not meant to be this goddamn severe! I shouldn’t even be the vice president yet!”

“ **_Then maybe you shouldn’t be here at all,_ **” Tubbo spat. The world slowed to a stop. Dream grinned. 

“Tubbo—” Tommy wasn’t sure of what he was going to say. _You’re playing right into his hands? Please don’t do this? Maybe you’re right?_

“Shut _up_ , Tommy! _I’m_ the president. I have to make a mature decision—something I’m sure you’re incapable of.” Everyone was looking between the two as they fell apart. Tommy could feel their incredulous stares, but he was too consumed by his frustration to care.

“Oh, I guess _you’re_ all mature now, huh?” he drawled.

“I _have_ to be! I’m president! This… this is _ridiculous_ , Tommy! I don’t have _time_ to bicker with you because you refuse to grow up.” Tommy took a step back as if Tubbo’s words had physically hit him. He didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t want to lose the one person who cared about him still.

_You already have_ , whispered a voice in his mind, _you always lose, after all_. It seemed to smile at him—at the hurt and anger its words brought. Tommy didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know who to trust. He couldn’t see past his rage and _fear_. 

_You can’t trust him. Just look, he’ll exile you without a care_ , it spoke with a grin. Tommy tried taking a deep breath, but the frail composure he had maintained so long finally snapped.

“ _Give me back my disk_ ,” he whispered through gritted teeth, pushing down his tears once again. Maybe it hurt to see a glimpse of sadness flit across Tubbo’s face. And maybe it hurt to hear Fundy and Quackity gasp as Dream cackled in the background. But Tommy could only focus on his breathing, knowing he’d break down if he thought too hard about what he’d done. 

“Wh—Tommy, you can’t be serious!” Tubbo’s voice cracked, but Tommy kept his eyes trained on the ground, counting each inhale and exhale.

“I mean, you could always give _me_ the disk,” Dream said, his tone innocent and saccharine. Tommy felt like throwing up.

“ _No!_ I… I can’t do that, Dream. Tommy doesn’t mean it, he—he just needs space for a little while. We all do. He doesn’t mean it.” Tubbo sounded as though he were convincing himself more than anyone else. Tommy didn’t bother to correct him. “Look, we should really talk about this later. I’ll talk to you… December second, Dream. Is that alright?” 

“I mean, what’s there to talk about? Are you not exiling Tommy?”

“Not… no, not right now. Please, Dream, not today,” Tubbo pleaded, garnering shocked looks from everyone around him. Dream raised his hands in mock surrender and left with a smirk that only Tommy seemed to notice.

“Tubbo, man, what the fuck was that?!” _Tommy needed to know. He needed to know if he’d lost Tubbo. Maybe they could fix this, maybe they could work together, maybe things would be alri_ —

“Tommy.” It was Tubbo’s turn to stare at the ground. His tired gaze couldn’t seem to meet Tommy’s pleading eyes. “Not today. Not right now. We—we need to sort this out, and I need to do my job, but I just… I don't want to see you for a bit. I need... I need to gather my thoughts. Away from you.” _Oh._ “ Just… make sure you give Fundy those reports.” _Maybe not._

Tubbo led Fundy and Quackity away, leaving him alone. 

_Alone_. 

He—he had no one. _Everyone_ had—had _left_ him!

A hollow laugh escaped his lips, echoing through the deserted space he stood in. His feet began leading him home, but a dull buzz was overtaking his mind, numbing the fear, the anger, the hurt.

He felt… empty. As though he had given too much for too long with nothing to fill in the gaps. 

Even as he walked into his house, he felt like an outsider. Memories played like films in his mind, reminding him of everything he’d lost, everything he’d given, and everything he’d never be.

_They exiled him._

_Point and laugh at him!_

_Then maybe you shouldn’t be here at all._

Maybe he shouldn't.

**Author's Note:**

> I am both a Tommy apologist and a Tubbo apologist, so this entire arc is PAIN :,) This isn't the favorite thing I've written, but it's just a random one-shot so!! who cares!! hope you have a nice day lmao


End file.
